Giving Up!

I am very blessed in this life that I live. I had the pleasure the other day of talking my friend out of ending her life. From the outside, she seems happy. She is good at putting on a mask that lets the world think everything is fine. After all, she was just engaged last month! She should be on cloud 9 most of you would think. But inside, my friend was crumbling. This was not the first time this has happened. One night we talked on the phone for 2 hours about the issues my friend was dealing with. It continued the next morning as we talked over tea. After telling me what she was feeling and that she was tired of doing everything herself in what was supposed to be a partnership, she could not stop crying. Hopeless, lonely and afraid, my friend did not want to continue living on this physical plane.

My friend has a 5 year old boy, brilliant and loving and caring. He is strong and independant and is not afraid to tell you how he feels. He loves deeply and has so much character that he draws you in instantly. This is all my friend's doing as she is a single mom. Her son does not know his father, and according to my friend, it is best that way. My friend has been through many relationships, all looking for someone to share the journey of life with. Last year, she found that man. The journey with him, however, has been an uphill battle. It is tiresome and a lot of hard work to get other people to understand what you need and to how they can help make your life easier. After all, isn't that what we want in a mate? We want someone to love us as we are, where we are, and grow and learn with us as we carve out the life that we both want to live. We all have dreams, desires and things we want to do. We all have passions we want to experience and feel a purpose we are here to fulfill.

Having been a single mom, I am well aware of the work it entails. I also know that being happy each day is a choice that we make. There were times I too did not want to continue and it took everything I had just to get out of bed in the morning. From all the stress and dysfunction in my last relationship as a step mom and mom, my body was having a hard time keeping up with me. So I completely understand what my friend was going through.

I said to her that today was a changing day in her life. It was time to stop being the victim of her past and start being a victor. It was time to choose everyday, above all else, to be happy. She needs to choose happiness from the inside, and show that to the world, regardless of outside circumstances. You might say that the reality of your life is not something to be happy about, and I would say "Then don't look there. Focus somewhere else on the things that bring you joy." I have learned, by doing the work on myself and healing my past hurts, that I am more powerful than I know. I create the reality I want to live simply by choosing the best feeling thoughts I have every day. Meditation is so important and I take the time every day to get myself into a better place than yesterday. I choose every day, no matter what, to be happy and free. It feels so good to be happy. In fact, from where I was, totally not happy, I will never allow myself to go to that dark place again. So much has happened in my life from just being happy. I have received so many blessings in my life just by changing my perception. It has been an amazing journey!

I want the same for all of you. The time is now to step into your own power and claim the life you want to live. Be responsible for how you feel and stop blaming other people. NO ONE has the power to change how you feel but you! Every time, no exception! If you are living with someone who has a hard time being the best they can be, stop blaming them for how you feel and stop punishing them for not making you happy! It is not their job! Each of us are on a journey to live our best life and be as happy as we can be! FOR OURSELVES, NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE! If you have children, it is imperative that you teach them about the importance of making themselves happy and not depending on someone else for their happiness. This also goes for love. It is imperative that we all love ourselves first and foremost. How can anyone else love us if we do not love ourselves? So do the work and get down deep to where you are hurting and heal that hurt. There are a multitude of resources to get help. Read a book or 3, ask your friends for help, talk to a therapist, ask a life coach for help, meditate and get quiet enough to ask the questions you need answers to. There is no excuse for carrying around your baggage from relationship to relationship thinking someone new will make the difference. Until you are the best YOU that you can be, nothing will change! You will continue to attract the same people into your life. You will continue to be unhappy if you do the same thing you have always done. So make some changes in your life now! Right now! Get happy and love yourself first and then watch your world change.

My friend heard what I had to say and had a heart to heart with her man. She told him she had a time frame in her head to see if things would change. She made the conscious choice to choose happiness everyday regardless of what was going on. She understands it is not anyone elses job to make her happy. She is also prepared to do the work to heal her past. She told her man that she has heard from him many times that he gets it and will do better. She said to him that your actions need to follow your words so we will see if you act upon what you say you will do to make changes. She also told him that she is prepared to move forward without him if they cannot find a way to come together on one path.

As much as it might have hurt her fiance to hear this, it was empowering for her to say it. Being authentic and real is so important when we are healing our lives and being the best person that we can be. Are you going through something like this? Are you also experiencing ups and downs that seem to be more down? If so, change that now. You start by making a conscious choice to change your life for the better and for settling for nothing less than you deserve. Honesty, integrity and follow through are the keys to greatness. Let go of the past as it no longer serves you. Now is where all your power is. Make now the moments that count. I believe in you! You can do this! Believe in yourself, love yourself and be the best person you can be. For yourself first, and that trickles into the rest of your life to improve the lives of those around you. Do not underestimate the power you have within you! Create your best life now! The world and your soul are waiting!